INTRODUCTION

The Power of Yes!

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Sweet are the uses of adversity.

WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
As You Like It, Act 2, Scene 1

Defining Professional “Crisis”

What is true crisis in our lives? How can we tell we’re heading into crisis, rather than simply going through a really bad time? What are the signs of breakdown? This chapter explains what professional crisis is for women today. You’ll learn what working women lack when they are in crisis, as well as the many benefits of moving forward to breakthrough.

As defined in Webster’s dictionary,¹ a “crisis” is:

The turning point for better or worse, as in an acute disease or fever

A paroxysmal attack of pain, distress, or disordered function

An emotionally significant event or radical change of status in a person’s life (a midlife crisis )

The decisive moment (as in a literary plot)

An unstable or crucial time or state of affairs in which a decisive change is impending; especially one with the distinct possibility of a highly undesirable outcome (a financial crisis)

A situation that has reached a critical phase (the environmental crisis)

Clearly, we’re talking about a no-turning-back situation—a time that calls for a reckoning and reevaluation. Crisis involves the occurrence of a deeply troubling, heart-wrenching, or grueling event or series of events that brings you to a recognition, finally and irrevocably, that change must occur now. Crisis pushes you to your knees and cracks open your awareness that to repeat this experience (feeling/event/situation) would be close to intolerable.

Breakdown in the professional arena means that you have discovered beyond a doubt that how you work, what you work on, who you work with, who you are when you work, or where you work—one or more of these elements are causing damage to you, your life, your body, and your spirit. Breakdown often seems to strike out of the blue, yet we rarely get to this point without warning signs along the way.

Crisis may look different for each person, but one unifying theme defines it: Crisis is a wake-up call that demands your attention and reveals that major change in life or work is required, and fast.

Why Focus on Professional Women in Crisis?

Women typically feel powerless and are breaking down in the professional arena in ways that men are not. This is not to say that men do not struggle with professional and personal crises; of course they do. In fact, many of the challenges discussed in this book will resonate with men. (Based on my many conversations with men, my next book may be Breakdown, Breakthrough II for men!)

Breakdown, Breakthrough is not about finding fault—in men or women. Thousands of women—myself included—can say that some of our best and strongest mentors have been men. Also, many women reveal that their most significant challenges have been with female bosses and colleagues. The goal of this book is not to focus on one specific professional dilemma, but to help you gain clarity on your personal and professional situation and identity—whatever it may be—to assist you in moving successfully through your challenges. To do so, we need a new model or guide for empowered living that speaks directly to each of our particular sets of challenges.

What Are Women in Crisis Lacking?

What are professional women longing for when breakdown occurs? Women who have gone through significant professional transition reveal that when they were in professional crisis, they struggled with the absence of one or more of the following benefits of a fully empowered life.

They yearned for, but couldn’t find the way to:

Honor or express their various facets

Respect both the work they do and their colleagues, and be respected in turn

Be treated fairly

Earn the money they need to

Expand their self-reliance

Achieve “quality of life,” flexibility, or control over what they do and how they do it

Balance their numerous important life roles

Make a significant positive difference in the world and in the lives of others

Utilize their voices, talents, and abilities

Contribute fully in ways that reflect their unique needs and values without being negatively judged or diminished

Professional breakdown, then, involves realizing that you are struggling—and failing—to attain a positive life experience that includes passion, power, purpose, security, integrity, self-reliance, and balance. For some, addressing crisis and making room for positive life change requires a good deal of inner and outer work. But for others, small tweaks in a critical dimension are enough.

For all individuals, breaking through to positive life change involves three powerful steps:

1. Step back to disentangle from your situation and gain a fresh, expanded perspective.

2. Let go of negative thinking and actions that hold you back.

3. Say yes! to honoring yourself and taking action toward what compels you.

Benefits of Addressing Crisis and Saying Yes! to Yourself

After living in the midst of crisis for a long time, women often feel chronically debilitated, depressed, angry, or sick. They may feel unable to live fully or experience meaning and joy, or be present for those they love and care for. Once you awaken to the sense that you are somehow thwarted and not living up to your potential, you feel discomfort and pain.

As you begin your exploration, the difficulty of your experiences may seem to be draining you of the energy needed to start the process of change. But those who have lived through this period have said, “Once I took the first step of examining what was not working, I began to feel hopeful that things could change. It seemed as if an enormous weight had lifted, and I knew then that I could do what I needed to.”

The benefits of taking the first step, and gaining even small degrees of power to overcome professional breakdown, are enormous. You will begin to:

Make friends with yourself and your body, and understand the information your physical condition reveals

Enjoy stronger, healthier, more connected relationships that are based on empathy and respect rather than conflict and competition

Recognize the influence of your ego and learn how to integrate it with other aspects of yourself

Find enjoyable, purposeful work that sustains you

Access inspiration and helpful support when you need it

Discover your unique purpose that gives meaning to your life and work, and live from that knowledge each day

Embrace change rather than fight it

Live more joyfully and passionately

Thrive and grow through life’s challenges

The growth experience of breaking through your struggles transforms all aspects of your life. Ample evidence shows that women are finding new ways to successfully deal with major professional crises and are reaching new levels of success and satisfaction. Overcoming breakdown, and finding new meaning in life and work, is not only a possibility but a necessity—and a blessing—for thousands of women today.